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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183412">After the Fall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clio_Codex/pseuds/Clio_Codex'>Clio_Codex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wandering Stars [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>30+ fanfic, Betrayal, Emotional Hurt, F/M, M/M, Seduction to the Dark Side, The Mandalorian Wars: 3976-3960 BBY (Star Wars)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:33:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clio_Codex/pseuds/Clio_Codex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Quick snippets from my "Wandering Stars" KotOR series written for the 30+ Fanfic Discord weekly prompt challenges.  Most will likely reappear as part of longer works.</p><p>Feature Revan, Alek/Malak, Meetra....maybe others.....</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alek | Darth Malak/Revan, Alek | Darth Malak/The Jedi Exile, The Jedi Exile &amp; Revan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wandering Stars [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>30PlusFanfic Prompt Channel Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I Trusted You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Malak finds Meetra after Malachor.</p><p> Written for the 30+Fanfic Discord prompt challenge "I trusted you."</p><p>This will appear again in some form in a longer fic about Meetra's time after Malachor and before Peragus...hope you'll stay tuned for that.  My short fic "Cuyin (Survivor)" gives further context for this particular moment.</p><p>"She could say that she’d loved him, too.  That she loved him still.  Should say that.  Maybe try to explain why they’d been wrong, that it wasn’t the right love for what they’d done. </p><p>Instead she offered a simpler truth.  “You loved Revan more.  I hope that’s enough.”</p><p>It wouldn’t be, but she wanted him to have that bit of grace, a thing to hold on to in the darkness."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Somehow Malak found her.Or maybe it was Alek.Was still hard to think of the man before her in any way other than the one who had been, the one she’d grown up beside, the one she’d hoped would help hold her together when the world was falling apart around them. </p><p class="p1">Alek then despite the scowl and the Sith damned eyes.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want, Alek?”</p><p class="p1">His mouth turned up a bit, just enough to convince her it was still Alek.“To know you are ok.”</p><p class="p1">“Ok?Like not dead ok?Or something else?” Meetra laughed bitterly.“You know what happened.And if you cared…well, you had a chance didn’t you?”Perhaps that was unfair.What could he have done even if he’d wanted to help her after Malachor?She’d been broken in ways foreign to all of them, even Revan. And, really, Alek couldn’t even help himself.</p><p class="p1">His hands twisted in a familiar sort of way; meant he was nervous.Alek had always seemed so confident, until you knew that he was rarely sure of himself and relied over much on the opinion of others.Was Malak sure?Meetra had wondered if that wasn’t the thing behind the name in the first place, the desire to find his own will amongst the clutter of their Jedi teachings.</p><p class="p1">“I just needed to know you were alive, Mee.Can’t feel you anymore.”Alek’s voice.The sound brought the memory of his embrace and the reason she’d let that kiss happen, reminded her why she had chased all the fucking that had followed. </p><p class="p1">Wasn’t fair.“Don’t call me that.”</p><p class="p1">He still had the half-smile, one that wanted her forgiveness.“You called me Alek, Mee.” </p><p class="p1">Or maybe it was fair, since she’d done plenty of the hurting, too.Had razed a world and two armies and broken bonds with those closest to her along the way. The memories stung, worse because she’d run to forget. Surely he knew that and yet he’d chased her anyway.Why?</p><p class="p1">“I’m not sure what you want. I left, told you I was done.” </p><p class="p1">In another moment, she’d have touched his face to ease the hurt that was there, would have stood on tip-toe to kiss him hard.Didn’t need the Force to tell her he was thinking the same.Except that wasn’t the thing that either of them really wanted; she knew that now.</p><p class="p1">He didn’t respond so she continued.“Does Revan know you are here?”Not that she needed him to answer that.Of course, Revan didn’t know or he wouldn’t be here.That he’d gone behind Revan’s back to find her was….interesting. She remembered the way he’d looked to Revan at the end, the want in Alek’s eyes that had never been there when he’d looked at her.</p><p class="p1">Alek sighed, ran his hand through hair that wasn’t there.“I miss you.Isn’t that reason enough?”</p><p class="p1">She scoffed.“Miss me.Really?That’s not why you tracked me down.”</p><p class="p1">“You are right to be angry.I know….I know I hurt you.I should never have….”</p><p class="p1">No.They never should have. </p><p class="p1">“I’m not Revan.I never was.”Except she knew even as she said it that she had Revan’s eyes, the ones that Alek had touched, had kissed, the only part of her he’d been tender with.</p><p class="p1">That he wanted those eyes now was obvious in the way he watched hers.“I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I’m not sorry that we….”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t.”That same cold commanding tone of Revan’s.So clear now, the thing she’d missed before.<em>Because you didn’t want to see.</em>“I trusted you.”She sounded more hurt than she liked.So many betrayals.Which had hurt worse? “I trusted you Alek….you and Revan.And I got fucked.In more ways than one.”</p><p class="p1">“You didn’t say no.”He sounded so broken, some of that her doing.“You could have walked away.You did in the end.”</p><p class="p1">“At what cost?”She could walk away from him now, wanted to, but maybe she owed him something.“Is that what this is?You walking away?From Revan?”</p><p class="p1">“No.”A desperate thing crept into his expression as he reached for her arm.“Come back.I need you to come back.Revan needs….”</p><p class="p1">There it was.“Fuck Revan.And fuck you.”She turned away, tasting blood as she bit her cheek to hold back her anger.</p><p class="p1">“Mee please…just listen at least.”His pleading hand touched her shoulder.</p><p class="p1">If she had the Force or even her sabers, she’d strike him for that.For asking.For touching her. For reminding her that she’d once wanted.But she had neither and didn’t really care to die at his hand.Although maybe dying would hurt less.</p><p class="p1">When she didn’t speak, Alek took the invitation to continue.“Whatever Revan thinks he is doing, what he thinks will happen, he’s falling but he won’t admit it.”Things must have gotten bad then.Meetra couldn’t feel enough to care, not really.</p><p class="p1">“Falling?”She shook her head, shrugged off his hand as she turned back.“We fell quite a while ago, Malak.” That name tasted bitter as she felt, the nasty truth of it all.“Revan always has thought he’s had the answers.And for a long time I believed he was right.So I followed him.You are right that I could have walked away.Should have known after Dxun.Yet, I didn’t go when I should have.And I paid for it.”</p><p class="p1">The anger she’d felt before dissolved to pity. Gods he was so broken and didn’t even realize it.Going back would do nothing though, because he’d not leave Revan.And Revan would never listen.</p><p class="p1">Still she cared enough for the thing that had been between them to make the offer.“You could stay Alek.You don’t have to go back.You don’t have to follow.”</p><p class="p1">His eyes were too bright then, his true blue like the Dantooine sky.“Can’t Mee. Even if I know it’s what’s right.I can’t…can’t let him fall alone.”</p><p class="p1">“It will destroy you both.”Didn’t need the Force to know that either, that truth that had been clear well before Malachor.“It will destroy you, Alek.”Maybe it already had.</p><p class="p1">“I know.”His face contorted as he fought a truth he didn’t want to see.“I loved you Meetra.Still do.” </p><p class="p1">She could say that she’d loved him, too.That she loved him still.Should say that.Maybe try to explain why they’d been wrong, that it wasn’t the right love for what they’d done. </p><p class="p1">Instead she offered a simpler truth.“You loved Revan more.I hope that’s enough.”</p><p class="p1">It wouldn’t be, but she wanted him to have that bit of grace, a thing to hold on to in the darkness.</p><p class="p1">They held their gaze in the silence that followed, both knowing there was nothing else to say, then he was gone.</p><p class="p1">Meetra left that afternoon, on a transport to somewhere barely mapped, needing to get lost in the fringes of the galaxy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Written for the prompt "darkness" - takes place right after the Leviathan reveal.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aoibhinn is an OC (and in my world, Revan and Meetra and Aoibhinn are siblings).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">How does one begin to remember?<em>Revan</em>.That was true, he knew, but what was his memory and what was the legend?</p><p class="p1">The ship was quiet; the others sleeping.Through the Force he felt them, most still radiating a lingering distrust.It came easier now the reaching out, like somehow knowing who he was had flipped a switch and the things he’d once done with ease came back to him in a rush. Aoibhinn was the loudest, felt like cold steel and chaos even as she slept.His sister.Somehow that felt the most logical of all of it, yet also the hardest, a reminder of the other sister he could not yet remember but once had known so well.The one he knew he’d somehow failed.</p><p class="p1"><em>You called him Alek</em>, Aoibhinn had said. That must mean something, but perhaps only what he didn’t need his memories to know - that Revan and Malak had been friends before they’d been master and apprentice, so he’d of course called the man Alek before the war.Just some residual knowledge seeping through.</p><p class="p1">His eyes searched the black against his eyelids, looking for that calm quiet center.He needed to remember. </p><p class="p1"><em>Alek</em>.His voice, younger as was the face close above him.Grass tickled at his ear, a rock poked at the small of his back, but he couldn’t move despite the discomfort of that, or rather didn’t want to, not wanting the other face to leave.For a moment he closed his eyes in the vision, felt the sun across his skin and the heat of something else.Then the face spoke, called him another name, the one from before Revan.His eyes opened to see that face smiling but radiating something else, too, a hunger he wanted to answer.</p><p class="p1">In the dark of the cargo hold, he raised his hand to touch the face in the dream, saw his past self mirror the motion, <em>Alek</em>.It was just one finger, the barest graze across his cheek and jaw, but enough that it made the other’s eyes blaze.Their bodies were already touching; they’d been wrestling, he thought.The rock in his back stung; his hips shifted almost involuntarily to relieve the pressure of it and….</p><p class="p1">His eyes flew open in the present, his breath coming in pants.<em>Fuck</em>.He saw now where this was going, the implication of the vision that was really a memory.It hurt.But he needed to know.He forced his breath even, closed his eyes lightly. </p><p class="p1">It was Dantooine, in the past, some place out in the plains.In the present he knew this memory wasn’t the first time they’d been to this place, but it was the first time they’d come this close to naming the wanting thing between them.<em>Alek.</em>He’d had a head full of hair then and a face that was whole; the ghost of his past self ran his hands through that hair and across that face, emboldened by the pounding of his heart and the hardness against his thigh.</p><p class="p1">He’d been ashamed at first for being clumsy, all teeth and tongue, but Alek was not.<em>I have to be better at something</em>, he’d laughed.And then it didn’t matter anymore.In the present he ached, remembering that wanting, forced his eyes to open, tried to find a focus on the faint shapes in the dark.Too much.</p><p class="p1">But the memories chased him anyway; he’d opened the box and couldn’t close it back.Alek’s hair was gone now, but he still had his face, could still smile in that way if he wanted, but never did.They’d ended the war.<em>I’ll follow you, wherever this leads. </em> Alek took his mask and kissed him roughly, the thing between them so heavy.The memories were jumbled, incomplete, but whiffs of true things he knew.</p><p class="p1"><em>He’s a weakness.</em>What voice was that?His own?Alek’s eyes burned now with something different, their wanting corrupted and jealous.<em>Do not test me</em>.His own voice, so cold, none of the warmth of the time on Dantooine. </p><p class="p1"><em>Is that what you think this is, Revan, a test? Worried I might best you?</em>The mouth that said those things was twisted and cruel.He’d kissed that mouth, had moaned as that mouth had mapped all of his flesh, still wanted the man who’d been.<em>I’ll follow you….</em>that mouth had promised.And the problem was that he had, followed him right into the abyss and had drowned in it.</p><p class="p1"><em>Gods no.</em>He knew in his gut what he’d see before the memory came, maybe he’d known as soon as he’d seen Malak on the Leviathan, why he’d wanted him to be Alek despite the impossibility of that.<em>I did this, </em>he said to the dark of the cargo hold.<em>Alek.</em>They’d sparred so many times over the years, Alek one of the few who could best him, maybe the only one now if he fought fair.<em>Weakness</em>.Blades and eyes blazed, Malak’s one to his two. <em>I loved you.</em> Who had said that or had they both?And then it was over; he’d walked away leaving Malak writhing on the floor, his face broken.</p><p class="p1"><em>I did this</em>, his voice in the present a hoarse whisper.And they were still trying to kill each other, weren’t they?He scrubbed his face, wondered if the masters had known when they sent him to find the maps with false memories in his head.Bile rose in his throat.He could do it now, kill Malak.He’d have to.Malek would be waiting for him on the Star Forge, drinking from the darkness there.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I’ll follow you…</em>
</p><p class="p1">Revan had broken so many things; what was one more?</p>
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